Confessions of the SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN

Hey there beautiful people! For those of you who personally know me, you would know I am indeed a very AWKWARD person. I mean, this is my expression almost 70% of the time...

Ohhh Kaaaaay.

Hence, I figure out it is time I have a post dedicated to all my socially awkward penguin pals! Read on and lets see if you relate to these struggles.

Are you one of those people, when you are about to talk to someone new, you totally freak out, hyperventilate and have to practice through a speech in your head before actually talking to them? Or do you actually secretly dislike crazy parties with loads of people because you get really anxious and uncomfortable? If you can relate to those, you and me are now automatically friends!

Us, the socially awkward penguins are often misunderstood. People tend to mistake us as for being unfriendly or weird, mainly because we are going through pangs of anxiety when meeting someone new, and appear cold, or on another extreme,  are trying so hard to be sociable that we become a "try-hard" weirdo. The people around you often can't really figure you out, because you seem to be pretty outspoken and extroverted, but then again, sometimes you morph into your awkward self. So what the hell is going on with you?!

Not to worry my dear awkward pals, because you are not alone in this! Here is a list of things that all you socially awkward penguins out there can relate to :

1. We do NOT like surprises.

Sure, we love small subtle surprises like receiving our favorite Starbucks in the midst of a hectic exam week.. But when it comes to a big, over-the-top surprise party with every acquaintance we know, it scares the sh*t out of us, and we never know how to react.  We do not know who to talk to, what to do with our hands, and we end up being too busy worrying about how to act instead of actually enjoying the thoughtful gesture.

2.  We prefer one to one interactions as compared to group interactions.

 The thing about hanging out with a big group of friends is we sometimes don't really know who to talk to, or how to blend in.  Don't get me wrong, we do hang out with our group of friends, and enjoy the great company, but we find one-to-one interactions way more enjoyable and engaging, and it makes us feel much more at ease. We definitely prefer getting to know someone on a whole new level, understanding why they like the stars more than the moon, why they are secretly afraid of success, how they act when they get moody etcetera etcetera, instead of sitting at a table full of people and being unsure of what to say, or even who to listen to or talk to. 

3.  We can't do spontaneous plans.

Your group of friends call you while you are watching Grey's Anatomy in your PJs,  and ask you to go on a spontaneous road trip across the state to try out this new burger place.. Sounds like fun! But wait.. What do I do now?! Oh no, I don't know what to wear! I don't want to be overdressed or underdressed! Oh I don't know who else is going! Are they going with that girl from class whom I always smile at but never know what to say? How am I going to talk to her?! Wayyyyy too much pressure for us. We need at least a few hours to prepare ourselves mentally, or even give ourself a pep talk before the outing. 

4. First impressions of us will mostly be negative ones.

Let's just face it. We are not very good at meeting new people. Trust me, it is definitely not because we are not interested, sometimes it can even be because we are way too interested, that is why we are so anxious we tend to act weird. We may seem cold or overly friendly, but in fact it is just because we are actually going through a lot of anxiety in our head and overanalyzing our every move and word. Thankfully, a lot of our friends endured through our awkwardness and they get to know the real us after some time. 

5. Sometimes we tend to bail on outings at the last minute.

It might most probably be because we think that the anxiety of being uncertain throughout the whole interaction is not worth it. It is not because we don't love our friends, we just don't really love the feeling of being uncertain of what the outing might bring, or the pressure of trying to think of what to say and how to act for that many hours. It may also be because we are feeling a little tired and would rather spend some time alone in our own hermit, comfortable in our own company without any awkwardness to worry about. Social interactions require effort for us. But we will try to make it the next time, hopefully. 

6. We are professionals at avoiding awkward situations.

People think it is ridiculous to take the long walk back from campus. But in fact we just want to avoid the lady selling fruits because once you fell down in front of her stall and you are too embarrassed to let her ever see you again. People don't understand why you freak out and pretend to be preoccupied with your phone sometimes. But in fact you just want to avoid eye contact with the acquaintance you met only once during a camp and don't know if you should say hi. People don't get why you would rather hold your pee than to go to the toilet. But in fact you hate imagining walking all the way across the room with people staring at you in the middle of a lecture. People don't understand why you avoid certain restaurants even if you love the food there. But in fact you know all your ex's friends always eat there and you are not certain if you should even say hi if you bumped into them after breaking their bro's heart. It gets really tough, so avoiding is actually worth the trouble. 

The struggles are pretty real in the life of a socially awkward kid. We can be extroverted and love social interactions, but we also go through a lot of social anxiety in our head when we are put into certain situations. We try, really hard, to fit in, but sometimes we tend to be really AWKWARD! But once we are able to feel comfortable around the ones close to us, they get to see our real self and know us for who we truly are.

However, despite our secret struggles, that is just the way we are build, and that is what make us special. Let us try to embrace our awkwardness, and be grateful for all our close friends who stuck around long enough for us to get comfortable around them, and be thankful for their understanding on the way we function. 



Till next time, loves! Thanks for reading!